He is getting married

After all the fiasco, i go the news that he is getting married in April or May. i remember seeing the message and freezing instantly. it was my aaro that was getting married soon. i still haven’t digested the fact that the man i loved with every fiber of my being, is getting married to someone else. how could he move on so quick? doesnt it mean what we had for 2 and a half years was seemingly meaningless? it hurts like you are being burnt alive. but i hide the pain and give out a smile, for i have told everyone that i have moved on. i hope he will be happy. i only wish him the best.

 

dear aaro, you were my everything, you still are. but now you are going to be a married man soon. take care of yourself and her. bye

 

#iwishicoulddisappear

Do you think i am not hurt?

Do you think i am not hurt when you act very thick headed?

Do you think i am not hurt when you refuse to  read my messages because they sound “stupid”? 

Do you think i am not hurt when i ask you every week with some hope that if u can call me and you always say no?

Do you think it doesn’t hurt for me to watch our old videos and voice notes so i can still see your smile and hear your voice?

Do you think i am not hurt when i cry myself to sleep thinking of how much i crave your love and i get nothing?

Do you think i am not hurt when you don’t even bother to ask me how my days was or if i have eaten?

Do you think i am not hurt when you keep telling me it is easy to leave me and that i am a burden to you?

Do you think i am not hurt when you dont want me as much as i want you?

Do you think i am not hurt by you at all? 

I am my dear loved one! 

But do you know why endure it? Even if it’s extremely painful?

Because i love you. 

But you know what’s more hurtful? When you pretend my love is invisible to you

When you are like i mean nothing to you

When you disregard my emotions.

Dear you, it hurts, teach me how to do what you do to me. so it will hurt less.

But again, do you think i am not hurt?